The Thrill of the Quickie

As much as we love a long and passionate session of sex, sometimes things just get a little too hot and heavy at inopportune times of the day. We know how difficult it is to calm an insatiable sex drive so here are just a few places where you can get into action in around 5 minutes. Now that isn’t much time to get it in, but the spontaneity and excitement will make up for the minimal duration.

We’ve rated a few places we’ve experienced some hot and heavy action on a scale of 1 to 5. 5 being the highest chance of getting caught with your pants down. Good luck and godspeed.

Car Wash

Not a lot of danger here, except the usual danger when doing it in the car. Cramped spaces, accidental gear changes, and the occasional horn honk. With all of the high-powered jets and soapy foam covering the windows, no one will know what you are up to for the next 3 or 4 minutes. Make it quick though. By the time the dry cycle arrives, your fun will be over.

Do it (now): Time is your enemy so prepare ahead of time. Ladies, wear a skirt with no panties. Men, unzip that fly before the car gets on the track. As soon as the car wash attendant is out of view, you’re in the clear. The straddle is your best bet here. If the woman is driving she can just straddle the man in the passenger seat. She won’t have the steering wheel in her back and the man can watch to make sure she’s back in her spot by the time the ride is over.

Risk Factor: 1

Elevator

There’s no real danger in the elevator. Getting caught by the guard or doorman watching the cameras will probably mean exchanging sly smiles in the morning as you leave for work.

Do it (now): Unless you’re in a swanky sky rise, there shouldn’t be surveillance that could actually mean reprocussion. Once inside the elevator, flip the emergency brake to extend your stay. Now you can get busy. The man should remain standing and hoist the woman up. She can wrap her legs around the man’s waist. For a little more friction, the man can lean forward and rest her back on one of the elevator walls. Beware that the emergency brake signals the authorities so frolicking is limited. Once you’re both spent, tidy up and wait to be rescued by the concerned local authorities.

Risk Factor: 2

Ferris Wheel

Amusement park rides are engineered to induce vomiting. Throwing sex into the mix is truly risky business. Plus, there are kids everywhere. Good timing and fancy fingerwork will help you here.

Do it (now): Tell the ride operator that your partner is horny for heights and there’s a twenty-spot in it for him if he can make sure you’re stuck at the top for a couple of minutes. Once there (and assuming you’ve revved each other up with plenty of foreplay), go for manual or oral stimulation. Remember you are strapped in, so missionary is out. For those afraid to fly, this is the equivalent of the mile-high club. Drape a jacket over your lover’s lap, for added discretion. As they say at the carny games, “everyone’s a winner.” Do your best not to rock the seat too much: you’ll attract either too much attention or waves of nausea.

Risk Factor: 5

Bushes

As long as you’re careful about the bushes you choose and avoid anything with prickles, there really isn’t any danger. The chance of someone seeing you is minimal, and if they do they’re the ones who are intruding.

Do it (now): The key here is in the selection of bushes. Don’t try anything in the holly, blackberry, roses, or gorse: there’s nothing more calculated to kill the mood. Something soft and pliant is best, since you don’t want small branches sticking you in awkward places. Make sure they’re tall enough to hide you, even if one of you is sitting astride the other. Some minimal protective clothing is advisable unless you plan to use a blanket. Amid everything else, keep an ear peeled for passersby.

Risk Factor: 1

Wedding

Let’s face it — even if you’re caught, you probably won’t get in trouble (unless you’re having sex with the bride or groom). And you can always explain that you were caught up in the moment and felt particularly romantic after seeing the happy couple united at the altar.

Do it (now): After the wedding, when everyone is milling around, kissing the bride, you probably won’t be missed for a little while. Find a room away from the action. If possible, one with a lock on the door. If one of you has participated in the wedding, try to avoid rumpling your clothes and hair too much, since that’ll probably raise some eyebrows when you rejoin the crowd. The room to avoid is the one where the wedding presents are stacked, since some people may be trying to add their gifts to the pile.

Risk factor: 1

Office

Being caught in the office could cost you your job. But hey, high stakes reap big rewards!

Do it (now): Your best bet to having sex at work is to have your own office with a door that locks and has blinds. Plan the quickie for a time when the only person around is the janitor, emptying the wastepaper baskets. Also be sure your office doesn’t have surveillance cameras: evidence can be a drag. Once you’re in the clear, your desk is the obvious choice for a bed substitute, but don’t rule out the chair! Make this one enjoyable: act out porn fantasies, such as “The Job Applicant,” “Taking Dick-tation,” or “Do Me or You’re Fired.” If you don’t have your own office, scope out a back stairwell. (Keep your voice down, though: stairwells echo.)

Risk Factor: 4

Rest Stop

Guess what: You’re not the first person with this idea! State troopers and other police, undercover and otherwise, routinely patrol rest stops for shenanigans of all kinds — public sex topping the list. You don’t want to get swept up in a dragnet.

Do it (now): Park behind an 18-wheeler, in an unlit corner of the rest stop, or behind the fast food restaurant. Making your quickie stop some time other than broad daylight also works in your favor. Putting your car’s “sunshield” up and draping your jackets from a crack in the windows ensures more privacy. For role-play foreplay, one of you could be The Grateful Hitchhiker or the Lonely Visitors Bureau Desk Attendant. Don’t head into the woods; that’s where teams of perverts gather.

Risk Factor: 5

Jet Ski

Yes it might sound crazy to you but we have seen this before.  An elite member has actually taken his girlfriend on a jet ski in the middle of the Atlantic ocean and decided to pull one off. The best way to do this one is to take the jet ski as far away from the rental base and civilization to the point where your just in the middle of the ocean all alone. Have her ride you and throw your finishings in the pristine blue water and hope a fish bears your child, this is your shot to make a mermaid.

Risk Factor: 5  (due to the high level of a shark attack)

Kate Stevens |Elite Daily