Why That Broken Relationship Will Never Work Again

Many people go through that torturous, strung-out relationship at least once in their lifetime where they just cannot let go of their ex-lover. They try it once, twice and maybe even ten times but it eventually just turns into a vicious cycle of ups and downs leading to unhappiness and broken hearts. So the question is do relationships ever work the second time?

Here at Elite we say NO. Although there are many various circumstances for the majority it is not likely to work out the second time if it did not the first. Why is this? The number one reason is TRUST issues. No one says it better than Drake. Relationships are built upon trust and without it every move is questionable. It can be anything from cheating to the little lies. If one is caught lying or cheating and it was bad enough to cause a break-up then the second go round will be full of bitterness and one feeling like they owe the other something.

If a man cheats on a woman and she gives him a second chance she will hold it above his head to his grave. Forgive and forget is not in a women’s dictionary and never will be. This resentment will linger and be brought up in any and every fight they have. Eventually this turns into a brutal cycle where words lose their value and feelings and emotions turn into the craziest rollercoaster of your life. Hold on because it gets really ugly really fast.

The number one reason couples try to fix their broken relationship and run back to one another is because it is familiar. They are comfortable, know the basic routine and do not want to go through the hassle of finding a new partner. However, this is the biggest waste of time. Yes getting back together with an ex is relief at first because you end the weeks of misery where you missed one another, but usually what begins as a romantic reunion full of break up and make-up sex along with all these new promises rapidly turns into arguments and disappointment as you discover that not only are the old problems still there but you have found new reasons to fight as well.

No matter what one thinks you simply cannot change a person’s old habits so do not start trying now. Remember that the one who was hurt the first go round will never fully put 100 percent into the relationship again for fear of being hurt or even worse-vulnerable.

Jill Goodhew, a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships says, “Time alone is an opportunity to really get to know yourself and build self-confidence. Thinking it’s better to be with somebody rather than nobody is not a good reason to go backwards.”

However, if you do decide to try a relationship a second time-proceed with caution. (The one who was hurt may only be in it for revenge, I have seen this happen MANY times). Take it slowly and look at it as a whole new relationship. Make an effort to do things differently to ensure you don’t fall back into old patterns and habits. It is also essential to communicate-be patient and let each person have their say without interrupting them. If the second attempt does not work out then just stop right there and stop putting salt on an open wound.

Third time is not always a charm my friends.

 “Relationships are like glass.  Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together…”

Elite.