How To Get Rid of the Clinger

Let’s be honest, we’ve all had a girl who just wont leave us alone. Whether it’s constant text messages, phone calls, or spontaneous, creepy visits to your home, this chick just doesn’t seem to get the hint that we are completely uninterested. Here’s what to do when you have a clinger on your hands.

There are ways to get around this sort of thing, but we know you way too well by now.  Some of you enjoy the attention way more than you’d like to admit. At any rate, here are the most efficient ways to get this clingy young lady off the radar:

Don’t Answer the Phone

I’m pretty sure I know the story of how you two met. You were out with your boys and decided that you needed a new bang buddy. You put down some of your Elite moves and shortly thereafter, you got her number. You thought you just bagged a short term lover, but boy were you wrong.

She probably texted you the same night, which should have been a warning sign from the jump. The next morning you have a million text messages all from her. So what do you do? Don’t answer the phone. Hopefully she gets the hint after the four million text messages that you didn’t answer, but don’t give them any false hope by answering. Don’t fuel her craziness, well, unless you’re into that sort of thing.

Say You Have a Significant Other

Some girls honestly don’t care when they hear a guy has a girlfriend, but for the select few guys that do actually care they’ll back off. Most stage 5 clingers probably won’t want to mess up your relationship, but she’ll certainly expect you to start a new one with her. She’ll probably inquire about your significant other so make shit up about her and how happy you two are. It sounds cheesy, but trust me, it’s an easy and effective way to get rid of her.

Say You Are Not Ready for Anything Serious

Telling someone you just came out of a really bad relationship and you need your space should work. A true clinger is usually so desperate for a relationship that they will respect this. However, sometimes this may backfire and she’ll decide to wait for you. In most cases, though, saying you need space to figure yourself out should send her packing.

Say You Aren’t Looking for a Quick Fling

This is probably the most effective one. This can also be used to counter suggestions that the two of you try something casual after you claim to not be looking for a relationship. The clinger should accept this and bow her head in defeat. She may be upset until she finds her next victim, but you’ve successfully saved yourself from enduring the hardships associated with a clinger.

Say You Just Want to be Friends

This is the final nail in the coffin for any love-seeking clinger. The just friends line should send this person away faster than you edged out your most recent one night stand.

Telling a person you just want to be friends signifies there is no attraction at all, and that it won’t work out. No clinger ever wants to be friends–she’s yearning for action and attention. Trust us, she’ll be fine. When she doesn’t get attention from you, she’s sure to look elsewhere until she finds it.

Elite.