Top 10 Asses in the Industry

The music and film industry serves as the baseline of influence for societal expectation style, speech and body types. We could not be happier that today’s media is filled with beautifully curvaceous women. It’s been far overdue. There are qualities in a woman’s posterior that are authentic and beautiful.

Unlike a pair of silicone induced breasts propped up in your face, we find a mysterious and beautiful quality in the posterior. As a proud generation of ass men, we find great joy in presenting our readers with our favorite backsides in the entertainment industry:

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel has the kind of ass that we could wake up next to for the rest of our days. It’s got that subtle, but not too subtle shape to it. With a athletic firmness that begs to for it to be eaten off of, we fully support Timberlake marrying this one.

Rihanna

Although we’ve seen this one around town time and time again, Rihanna’s ass is still one to behold.  The ability for it to be just so perfectly wide and sit so perfectly high is something we surely thank her mother for.

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba has one of our favorite Hollywood asses. It’s just so tight and sporty — truly built for speed. However, there is a fatal flaw with her lower back tattoo. There will be nothing worst than the children growing up only to see the mark of the beast as mommy goes to reach for the cereal bowls Yes, kids… Your mother has a tramp stamp.

Lady Gaga

Although we are the farthest thing from fans of her music or antics, we must give credit where credit is due. Lady Gaga maintains one of the most beloved asses in the industry. Her inclination to show off her backside more often then not has afforded us the opportunity to properly study those fine Italian cheeks. Bravo, Ms. Gaga, bravo.

Shakira

Shakira proves that it is not the size of the boat, but how you bounce through the stormy seas. The heart of every man’s desires at one point in their lives, Shakira and her hip shaking moves have been dropping jaws for years. The Elite rule of thumb: if she can dance, the sex will be incomparable.

Jennifer Lopez

For over a decade, Jennifer Lopez has continued to mystify the masses with a backside worth millions. As a true pioneer of bringing curves into mainstream media, the “J-Lo Booty” has been a commodity sought after by every man since her role in Selena. Although there may be some mileage on this one, we would still pay top dollar for a handful.

Kim Kardashian

As a compliment, we can only phrase the term ‘Used & Abused’ for Kim Kardashian. We miss the Reggie Bush era of Kim’s illustrious career. At least then you knew the goods weren’t completely busted down. These cheeks have been passed around the entertainment industry more times than a joint at Miley Cyrus birthday party. Although Kim still has one of the most sought after asses in the industry, we wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.

Sofia Vergara

Out of all the blessings God has imparted on mankind, none compare with the asses of Colombian women. Through extensive research and deductive reasoning, we have concluded that women of Colombian women are genetically predisposed to having the most amazing posteriors on planet earth. Case in point: Sofia Vergara. We have been obsessed with her amazing body, gorgeous smile and insatiable accent since we found her in Chasing Papi. We feel totally bad for her son though.

Beyonce

The Queen of the Booties, Beyonce Knowles, understands the importance of being able to finesse the backside regardless of how beautifully big it may be. Jay-Z has the hottest chick in the game. Nothing but respect.

Coco

Beyond words… Coco’s features literally leave us speechless every time we see her. Ice-T is truly one of the only men we could ever deem capable enough to handle all that this woman has to offer. As one of hip-hop’s original vixens, it was no surprise that one of the most legendary rappers of all time put a ring on her finger.