Would You Date: The Southern California Girl

After last week’s extremely controversial profile of the New York fashion student, this week on “Would You Date” we have decided to let things cool down on the eastern seaboard and take our mission over to the west coast. This week we will be analyzing the Southern California girl in an attempt to diversify our range of topics.

Disclaimer: This article is solely based on the collective personal experience of men who have been with  ”SoCal” girls. It cannot and should not be applied as a general conclusion of the population at large.

Brief Overview:

Southern California girls are usually blonde haired with blue eyes, which is favorable for those of you who prefer the Anglo look.  You can find these girls in a variety of major California cities, including Santa Monica, Laguna Beach, Irvine, Riverside, and Los Angeles. These women, like most California residents, are extremely relaxed and down to earth.

This is simply the way of life in California–there’s a lot less of the cramped, rushed hustle and bustle typical of the East coast.  Everything is, “so chill,” as they would say. They are extremely fun to be around and genuine enjoyment of life that keeps them far less materialistic than many others.

Pros:

It is only appropriate that we begin with the external features of these women. The overwhelming majority of them have blonde hair, so if you don’t like blondes (we’re not sure why you wouldn’t) you should promptly exit the browser. Many have the bedazzling combination of the blonde hair and blue eyes that we absolutely love. Of course, how can we forget their amazingly shaped bodies?

These women have been blessed with some of the most well taken care of curvaceous bodies we have ever encountered. We have to concede that the percentage of the population with implants is higher than anywhere else in the United States, but these women utilize them well nonetheless.

It is safe to say that the standard high school graduation gift is a BMW 3 series and breast implants.

Since they are around ample sunshine and have relatively easy access to the beach, many of these women have a year long, beautiful tan. Because of time spent on the beach these women always have a tan thus making their bodies look that much better. They love frequent walks along the shore, as beach life is almost synonymous with Southern California culture. If you are a man that loves the ocean, look no further.

Fortunately, these women are also relatively low maintenance. This isn’t to say they have low standards in any sense, however. These girls simply happen to be much less materialistic and brand conscious than their east coast counterparts. This is a lifesaver for your sanity and your wallet, as you can enjoy a meal with gorgeous, down to earth girl without blowing your entire check. Look, Elite, it’s good to save your money regardless of what “class” you think you are especially in this economy. Truly wealthy individuals maintain their wealth because they save and don’t spend  their money on excessive materialism.

They prefer In & Out and Del Taco over Mr. Chow any day.

We don’t condone drug usage, but if you’re a low key Wiz Khalifa and you enjoy smoking marijuana then you have officially found your partner for life. She’ll almost always be down to blaze and is probably more talented in the art of rolling than you are. This is only made better by the invaluable access to California’s limitless supply of potent marijuana she’ll have access to.

They don’t find the need to dance on tables like hookers and oftentimes dress very casually, donning high top dunks instead of Louboutins and possess a keen sense of suburban California fashion. These women are extremely agreeable, and fortunately for you, you won’t have to put up with much of her arguing. Of course, her “so chill” mindset means she won’t be willing to listen to you when you become hot headed, either.

They will complain profusely that anywhere outside of Southern California is too cold

Lastly, SoCal girls are also far more talented in bed than any of their peers. They are very sexually active so be prepared to exhaust yourself in every way you could magine. Also they manage to give the best head on planet earth. We confidently argue that their oral skills are better than even our belovedJewish girls. We don’t know what it is about them, but they truly do love performing this act consistently.

Cons:

Just like every week prior we have surely gotten you so uncontrollably excited that you’re feverishly looking through your phone for a 949 or 310 area code. Stop right there. Unfortunately, many of these suburban elite women have been placed on a pedestal since childhood and have an unrealistic outlook on life. When living in the paradise known as California, one can become entrenched in the “bubble” and be blissfully ignorant of the fact that life outside the bubble can be harsh.

Unfortunately, at times their fashion choices are downright horrid. It is far too common to find young Californians dressing like hipsters. Although this may be explained by the pervasive marijuana use of the region, it is unfortunate that these gorgeous women you see frequenting the beaches are generally not the sharpest tool in the shed. The “stoner mindset” draws a lot of Californians into a state of complacency that manifests itself through lethargy and an inability to show up on time.

Often times there really is no sense of urgency with many of these women and unfortunately some pretty much let life pass them by. She might be extremely bad with time management because of this mindset, and this is only promoted by the pampered lifestyle of the suburban bubble.

 

Her alarm clock mostly is set to go off on a Tuesday morning at 1:15 PM. At this point she will complain that she’s tired.

At times, you may encounter some of the most naive and gullible women on the planet. Many hate breaking out of their comfort zone and if you make efforts to diversify their mindset, oftentimes you’ll be met with the claim of being “sketch.”  Their communication skills are also lacking to an almost extreme degree. A simple request via text message will take hours to receive a response, and if you dare to call, more power to you if you actually anticipate its return. When confronted about this communication issue they will once again call you “sketch.”

These women love drama as well due to the fact that they grew up watching The Hills.

One trend we haven’t been able to wrap our heads around is how they manage to get the worst possible tattoos we have ever encountered.  There have been numerous occasions that we’ve seen some horrible tattoos on gorgeous SoCal ladies. Please, weigh out the long term ramifications before committing to the ink.

Fortunately for the Elite, it may prove to be very easy to captivate their attention since the majority of men they  encounter are of the surfer bum pedigree.  As these women are not hunting for a pompous man donning his freshly polished Hermes belt and Jacob & Co watch, women seem to be attracted to very low key and unpretentious men.

Their ex-boyfriend’s name is most likely “Jet”.

Closing thought- Administer an IQ test before getting into one of these, we don’t want any dumb blondes.

Elite.