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Youth leaders encouraged to make parents the "heroes"
Parents should be the chief spiritual mentors for their children
"How do we incorporate families into our ministries?" asked Jeff Pratt during the opening night of the conference. Pratt serves as student minister at First Baptist Church, Nashville (Tenn.) and works as LifeWay’s director of student ministry training.
It was a question the more than 400 attendees pondered and discussed throughout the three-day conference held at the Nashville, Tenn., home office of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention. Speakers and entertainers ranging from award-winning Christian recording artists to experienced pastors and youth ministers from around the country offered their encouragement and tips.
On the conference’s opening night, award-winning singer Steven Curtis Chapman took the stage with his two sons, Caleb and Will. Chapman told the audience he hopes his life can be viewed as a "case study" for families working as units in ministry. He explained that his ministry as a Christian musician has allowed him to intentionally involve his family in his work, whether that means performing with his sons or drawing inspiration for his songs from life with his wife and kids.
Bob Bunn, content editor in LifeWay’s student ministry publishing area, said the idea of involving parents in their kids’ spiritual development isn’t a new concept, but it has been overlooked in recent years. "Youth ministry went through a stage when it was viewed as a one-stop resource for making kids look like Jesus," Bunn said. "As a result, parents abdicated their role and youth ministers sort of usurped that role."
Bunn pointed to Deuteronomy 6, which calls upon parents to make permanent marks upon the lives of their children. Parents, he said, are an "invaluable" element in students’ development into godly adults. "We are seeing a renaissance of the idea that God says parents should be the primary spiritual developers of their kids."
The first step in reintroducing (or introducing) parents to this idea is getting to know them, Bunn said. "Find out who they are and what they are going through," he insisted. "Relationships with the parents will allow you to be transparent with them so that you can, at some point, share the truth of Deuteronomy 6 with them."
Part of this mindset shift in youth ministry involves more than simply involving parents – it requires youth ministers to think about how their youth groups can be part of the larger church body.
"This is not about adding events to the church calendar," said Sherry Spillman, a student ministry specialist at LifeWay, during a breakout session. "Think outside of the box to create a holistic, unified church."
Two-time attendee Andy Carr said he is blessed to work with a "wonderful church and wonderful parents," but he recognizes a need to do a better job ministering to parents.
"I’m fortunate to have parents who want to be involved," said Carr, who serves as associate pastor and minister to students at Sand Ridge Baptist Church, Lexington, Tenn. "We need to help them even better understand their kids with things like culture education. Parents need to know what this youth culture looks like."
Throughout the conference, speakers stressed that involving parents in the spiritual development of students does not mean youth ministers are irrelevant in that development.
"It’s your job to make mom and dad the hero," Pratt said during an afternoon panel discussion. "My goal as a student minister is that my students go to Mom and Dad when they have a theological question." He added that he is happy to help parents answer those questions should they request his assistance.
Youth ministers are the "resident experts" when it comes to student ministry, Pratt said. They must focus on ministering to, not functioning as social directors for, the students they’ve been given.
"Seeds planted [in my life] by people faithful in youth ministry helped us survive this last 14 months," said Chapman, referring to when his 5-year-old daughter "went to heaven" in 2008. "I want to encourage you and remind you that what you’re doing is incredibly important."
For more information about student ministry resources and events, visit LifeWay.com/students.
