If You're Spending More Time with YouTube than with Humans, You'll be Stuck Text Messaging Yourself Forever

Instant messaging, text messaging, blogs, vlogs, podcasts and widgets. With technology moving faster than a broadband connection, every day brings another way to keep in touch without actually having to show up in person. "It seems that the more connected we are, the more disconnected we become to real people," says Jaci Rae, who appears regularly on radio and television and whose love advice is featured on a number of relationship websites.

"Increasingly, being wired is replacing true bonds between human beings. Men and women are actually losing their ability to communicate with each other on a meaningful level."

Jaci says that vast numbers of people are searching for real relationships, but trying to find one through a 'smart' phone is not smart. "Technology is great for helping people stay in touch, but for so many people it's the only way they know how to connect."

Jaci cites an example she observed recently at a coffeehouse. "Many people were either on their laptops, text messaging, talking on their cell phones or listening to their iPod's. Only two people in the entire cafe were having an actual face-to-face conversation. I'd wager many of what I term the "wired wounded" were lonely but didn't know what to do about it. I felt like telling them 'put down your defenses, stop hiding behind your "connection" and let me teach you how to have a conversation with a real person and not a computer!'"

Jaci says that while online dating sites, chat rooms and "communities" such as www.facebook.com, www.youtube.com and www.myspace.com can be a great way to start a conversation with a potential new friend; many people lack the interpersonal skills to take their Internet connection into a lasting, in the flesh, connection.

With the world becoming more and more dependent on their computers, wireless methods of communication, and their Internet addiction, it's no wonder there are computer games that allow users to build and have a "relationship" with their idea of a perfect family or mate.

"As the world becomes more connected, their social skills go out the door," says Jaci. "People need to be taught how to have an actual conversation with another person that does not involve hardware or software as an intervening third party. Technology is not the enemy; it's the uncontrolled use of technology that's ruining our society and our relationships."

Here are some of Jaci's tips for turning yourself into a more user-friendly human being:

If most of your friends live on the Internet, try making a non-cell phone call to them instead of instant or text messaging.

If e-mailing is your thing, try writing an actual letter instead and put it in a mailbox. (Stamps are available at that place called a Post Office.)

Get out of your game room and into the game of life! Get a group of people together without computers and iPod's. Take the "I" out of iPod by yanking out those earbuds and starting a conversation, actually listening to what the other person has to say. Respond to them using verbal language instead of texting.

If you're addicted to Blogging, try just once to keep your thoughts away from the masses. Buy an actual paper journal and write a few heartfelt paragraphs that no one but you will see.

SHORT BIO: Jaci Rae uses her lifetime of experience from the school of relationship hard knocks, as well as professional training in therapy and psychology, to help men and women connect deeply and find the love they deserve.

Jaci is on the dating team of www.savvymiss.com, the relationship expert for www.lovingyou.com, and a relationship advisor for www.loveisgreat.com and www.singlescafe.com. She has written hundreds of articles and several books on connecting, relationships and how to find and build lasting love. She is also an award-winning singer who has toured around the world. For more information, go to http://www.jacirae.com

The Year Without Cyberspace

The hustle and bustle was all around;
All the creatures were stirring with deafening sound.
With years of Cyberspace at the touch of their fingers;
No one could foresee the dangers that lingered.

Faster and faster each year they would go;
Till the fastest connection seemed way too slow.
No longer did anyone need company around;
Who needs a friend when there's so much to be found?

With the children all snug away alone in their beds;
Happily playing with visions of death scenes filling their heads.
Laptops, television and computer game boxes at hand;
Parents don't need a babysitter, there is no demand.

No longer are they children, but miniature adults;
Being thrust into a world filled with lust and cults.
The family table holds nothing but dust;
And the living room center is no longer a must;

In a house that no longer holds family traditions.
Sharing family stories isn't an appealing addition;
A night with a storybook, who needs to read out loud;
With books that read for you, two is a crowd;

Social skills are lacking in a solitary world of confinement;
Manners aren't necessary, no need to refine them.
Then suddenly one year Cyberspace disappeared;
And the roar from the crowd could be heard far and near.

Suddenly people didn't know what to do;
And sitting alone, they each cried boo hoo.
As each day passed the crowd thought the end was here;
But Cyberspace was lost, and didn't reappear.

Slowly the isolated crowd came together;
To share their thoughts, not talk of the weather.
Having not seen a human in quite a long time;
They struggled to find at least a few ties that bind.

The elders came out of their bedrooms with care;
To share how it used to be and to compare.
How the family unit was today versus then;
And what fun they would have with just paper and pen.

A time when the family played games on a board;
And the family table held more than power chords.
When camping meant fires, guitars and no phones;
And being on vacation didn't mean faxes and ring tones.

When family and friends were cherished, not a commodity;
And talking with your neighbor was more than an oddity.
With Cyberspace gone everyone decided to give it a try;
This old-fashioned way, when the Internet didn't apply.

At first it was hard, no one knew what to say;
But soon it caught on and for more than a day!
Suddenly the violence so often on the street;
Calmed down to a hush and thuggery saw defeat.

No longer was it necessary to lock all your doors;
Visiting with family was no longer a chore.
Family and friends now gathered all the time;
To share special moments without any crime.

When Cyberspace was restored and crept back inside;
The parents cried no, you could hear it worldwide!
So with careful discretion they allowed its use;
But with strict supervision and no way to abuse.

And so without all the clamor or deafening cries;
The world became better, no one could deny.
Cyberspace is an asset to that I confess;
But without limitations, it leads to a mess.

Peace on Earth -- Good Will To Men
Copyright 2006 Jaci Rae and North Shore Records, Inc.