When I was a kid, I used to love to frustrate my parents by asking the question "why?" to everything they said and asked me to do. Whether it was eating my oatmeal or cleaning up my room or taking out the trash, I would ask "why?"
That was all in good fun (at least for me), but "why" questions can be a problem in life. Why? (Sorry, I had to ask that question.) The reason is that "why" questions usually lead us to abstract answers or continued uncertainty. There are many situations in life for which we simply don't know the answer for why certain things happen to us.
Another problem with "why" questions is that even if we do find a good answer, having that answer usually won't lead us to take action. Let's say that a man just lost his job. His immediate reaction might be to ask why this has happened to him. So the person thinks about that and concludes that he lost his job because of the economic downturn. But having that answer does nothing to help the man!
The better approach is to ask different types of questions that lead us to action and change. These questions are who, what, when, and how questions. When we ask ourselves these questions, they always lead us to answers that help us move forward and upward.
Using the example of the unemployed man again, let's say that he avoided the why question and applied the "who, what, when, and how" approach instead.
Who? "I will contact my closest friends and colleagues for support and possible job opportunities.
What? "I will update my resume and set up a plan for my job search."
When? "By the end of this week."
How? "I will conduct my job search every day, with confidence and perseverance and optimism."
You can see how these types of questions are much better than the "why" question for getting out there and actually accomplishing what needs to happen. As Tony Robbins said, "If you want better answers you need to ask better questions."
