News / Business
Ambassador From Mars Receives 181,634 Spam Emails - Says "Earthlings Are Not Ready" and Takes First Available Saucer Back Home
Ambassador Edward Husmaphilpi, Age 432.7 years, returns home to Mars having failed to get a meeting with the President. "All I got was 181,634 spam-emails from a Mr Edwin FFenfenbacker telling me that there had been a security breach at my bank and asking me to send him my credit card and domain name details.
Somewhere in Texas, on a secret mission from the planet Mars, Ambassador Husmaphilpi arrived here last week to offer our world their most valuable commodity, The Reversable Anorak, in exchange for a two years supply of Golden Grahams (which at this time they do not have the license to produce).
Says Ambassador Husmaphilpi, "All I did was post my email address on one of your Internet Notice Boards with the official Martian greeting (ie, Take Me To Your Leader). Well, not only did I NOT get a reply from your President, instead I received 181,634 spam emails asking me for my bank and credit card details. I knew immediately that something was wrong, because that's what my wife used to do whilst I was at work. Anyway, now she's doing 15 to 20 in Sing Song......it was a total shock........although it did save me a fortune in divorce costs.......but I still love her........her 29 cute toes and those 3 legs (even if one is shorter than the other)......continued page 99, problems page!
So, back to the story.....Mr Elwin Bagraaaaha, (originally from Saturn 3) who would give his address only as "Hanger 47 somewhere in Nevada" was shocked at this snub to a fellow alien and said the Ambassador should have gone to dotWORLDS (www.dotworlds.net) as they alone could have prevented this travesty.
"In the past" he said grimly "lesser incidents have led to war" (eg interplantary conflict of 20591 in quadrant 8 due to spilled cup of coffee) Mr Bagraaaaaha, (who arrived here by starship in the year 1747) is one of the growing bands of Earth residents using dotWORLDS domain names unspammable email addresses.
As a superior being, Mr Bagraaaaaha saw early on that with over 100 million domain names already registered (many to speculators) relevant and memorable names were just impossible to find. His "superiorness" meant that he was one of the first to find out that dotWORLDS had released a huge range of brand new domain names and email addresses on to the Internet. Immediately he released that dotWORLDS offered unlimited possibilities for those wanting personalization and easy-to-remember options and so he (and his mates) have been taking advantage of this ever since.
Anyway..........Disaster!......news of the Ambassador's treatment on Earth was not being taken well back on Mars (Note: Mars is not a place you want to be near when something like this happens). To try and quell the growing unrest and rioting in Slemelvoster (the capital of Mars) and to repair the soured diplomatic relations between the planets, Mr Bagraaaaha immediately presented Ambassador Husmaphilpi with a signed picture of Hilary Clinton (well it might help?) and his very own dotWORLDS email address "edward @fabulous.ambassador".
Now, edward @fabulous.ambassador can email president @the.whitehouse, and ask him about Breakfast Cereal Technology. He may not get the leader of America (he might only get a specialist monthly magazine), but there is no way Ambassador Edward Husmaphilpi is ever going to get any more spam emails. So, Earthlings, get with the programme and you could be responsible for peace in the universe and the first ever Trade Agreement between the Earth and Mars.
Go to www.dotworlds.net today, join the growing band of converts and get there FIRST!
dotWORLDS Ltd is a UK company based in London that specializes in providing free fully personalized internet domains and email addresses, free hosting, web builders and storage, via its global infrastructure. Please see website for full details. CONTACT: Press Office dotWORLDS +44 (0) 870 749 4178 www.dotworlds.net
