New York 2/2/2017 4:39:56 PM
News / Health & Wellness

What's the Secret to a Good Marriage? Look to Superbowl 51 for Answers

The secrets to a good marriage are right on the TV screen. Just ask Bill Belichick and Tom Brady! They definitely have one, says football therapist, relationship therapist and author of "Make Up, Don't Break Up," Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. Brady has been quoted as giving his coach, Belichick, the control, instead of working against him. This is similar to a functional marriage--you're on the same team. Dr. Bonnie says it's the combination of the two together, an "opposites match made in heaven." Like the couples she sees in her practice, they share control and don't compete against one another. They complement each other's strengths, and feed off each other in a good way.

Talking heads, players, and fans on programs like ESPN's "First Take" and all over the internet and TV debate endlessly over who's responsible. Who gets the credit? Is it Tom? Is it Belichick? Can one win without the other? As they go to their 7th Superbowl this upcoming Sunday, the magic in their marriage is evident. Will their chemistry and hard work pay off in a victory and a 5th Superbowl title together?

Dr. Bonnie and her husband met Tom Brady in an elevator the day before his first Superbowl against the Rams. In talking to him and hearing his nerves, she used her "SmartHeart" skills, honing in on positive affirmations, to encourage a win (he won!) Dr. Bonnie adds, "in a good marriage, each partner listens to the other which brings validation and respect." Brady is quoted as saying he listens to Belichick and Belichick respects and listens to Brady. No love can exist with couples if respect is missing. Dr. Bonnie says their winning "opposites" combination is easy to understand. Bill Belichick's better half is Tom Brady and vice versa. Defensive minded Belichick and offensive guru, Brady, show how opposites attract just like in a marriage, and just like in a marriage, over time, they become more alike than different in how they approach things. They mirror each other. In a marriage, the "hard knocks" make the couple stronger. The same is true for Belichick and Brady, both of whom had to overcome bumps and crashes at the start of their respective careers. Belichick was fired in the beginning of his career and experienced a resurgence as head coach of the Patriots. It was largely Belichick's trust in a sixth-round draft pick out of Michigan that elevated Brady to his hall of famer status today. This is the best type of "marriage" according to Dr. Bonnie. They keep learning and growing from each other, creating positive vibes that translate to reaching a potential 5th Superbowl win in Superbowl 51! Brady's secret is not resisting Belichick's demands, but conforming to them. Just like in a marriage, they have gotten past the "Power Struggle" stage and are in the "Real Life Love" stage that is based on respect and validating one another. It is what is essential in a marriage--letting each other do their own thing without encumberments.

Just like the twosome in a couple, the connection and the relationship between quarterback and coach is the difference between winning or losing a Superbowl, as it filters down to the whole football team. So to answer commentators, players, and fans whether it is Belichick or Brady who wins Superbowls, it's the marriage between the two of them! It's the combination as a pair recommitting to each other every game as you do with your partner every day in a marriage.

For more information on reaching real life love and opposites in marriage, enroll in Dr. Bonnies online education to-go course, Marriage and Relationships: Keys to Success. Check out her book, winner of NYTimes Reader's Choice Award, "Make Up, Don't Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples" for more and SmartHeart Skills and magic in marriage.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists and US Commerce association. Manhattan best therapist. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (including online video: How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary "Unfaithful" and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at