New Cigar Blend Just Released: Man O’ War Armada is here

Armada is Here.... American males across the land quitting jobs in preparation. 

In the middle of one of this great nation's worst recessions, many cigar enthusiasts are bailing on their 9 to 5s in order to collect their thoughts and be prepared mentally for the newest blend from one of the world's most popular cigar manufacturers. 

The new blend? Man O' War Armada. Although shrouded in secrecy, the crack investigative team at Cigars International unearthed some key chestnuts.  Made by master blender AJ Fernandez at his factory in Esteli, Nicaragua, Armada is purported to be so strong as to cause heart palpitations, alternating tears of joy and pain, uncontrollable grinning, and "ligeroma" - a newly coined medical condition with symptoms including euphoria, palate overstimulation, excessive laughter, hyperactivity, and slothfulness. 

Geoff Geofferson of Emmaus, PA (real name Jeff Jefferson withheld for anonymity) explains why he quit his job. "Look, I don't work hard as it is.  Now with this new Man O' War coming out, I'll never do anything!  Just thinking about that cigar, the flavor, the pure bliss... I'll be lucky to have the focus to put in my 2 week notice.  It wouldn't be fair to my Assistant Crew Chief."  Another job deserter, Ernest Calhoun states "Why bust my hump all day when I can just sit around enjoying these Armadas?  Sure, Podiatry is exciting and rewarding, but if I can't light up an Armada while workin', workin' ain't for me!" 

This unusual trend has baffled experts.  Dr. Horace Shipp, Professor of Finance at University of Phoenix Online, was quoted as saying simply: "Balance is important in life....[inaudible]....pass the Applejack." Clearly he was already baffled. 

Stan Gunderson, Minnesota native, Man O' War diehard, and now ex-employee of Shazzam's Tacos-2-Go sheds some light: "I'm just going off the grid, man.  Holding a job really harshes my morning mellow, bro.  We have to get back to our roots.  You think cavemen made burritos all day long?  They were smoking Armadas and creating the wheel.  That's what I'm doing, re-creating the wheel.  It's science, dude." 

When asked how he would afford these relatively pricey cigars, Stan responded "Oh, shit."