Paulina Porizkova’s Battle With Anxiety

Despite all the advances in the care and treatment of mental health issues like depression and bi-polar disorder, many still feel a stigma related to these. Model Paulina Porizkova recently laid her struggle bare in a piece that ran on the Huffington Post website. Her honest first-person story delved into the guilt she felt for her reliance on anti-depressants and her issue with anxiety that she says, “practically crippled me.”

After years of dealing with them, Porizkova thought her anxiety or panic attacks where under control, but as she turned 40 they returned with a vengeance.

“I couldn't get in a car, a bus and certainly not an elevator without panic overwhelming me: a crippling, terrifying sense of dread. I couldn't draw a proper breath, my heart pounded and heat flashed through my body, making me break out in sweat. To top it off, my PMS symptoms of frustration, depression and irritability stretched two to three weeks instead of the typical one,” Porizkova recounts.

She fought her doctor’s initial suggestion that she take medication to help her cope, but after finding that intense exercise, healthy eating and a vitamins didn’t fix the problem, she eventually gave in and filled a prescription for Lexapro. It gave her a break from her anxiety, quieting her world.

Still, she felt awkward about admitting that she was taking an antidepressant. But once she finally did speak up, she found that instead of people looking at her like she was crazy, many of her peers admitted they were doing the same thing. What she saw as a personal weakness turned out to be something that was much more common than she thought.

It made Porizkova begin to question whether Botox and antidepressants were becoming the female equivalent of a male midlife crisis. It also made her begin to question her long-term use of Lexapro. After two years – years she calls “the two most mellow years of my life” – Porizkova began wondering if she was too insulated from her real feelings.

“I felt emotionally Botoxed. Who was I under the blankets? What did I really feel like? I began to wonder and to want me back, even at the steep price of misery.”

Porizkova weaned herself off her antidepressants and, predictably, the anxiety came creeping back. She upped her exercise routine and says she “could finally understand the drug addicts who had cleaned up but wrestled with the urge to use every day.”

She isn’t anti-medication and understands that we’re fortunate to live in a time of options that can decrease suffering. But for Porizkova, she’s choosing to fight her demons naturally. The biggest lesson for others may just be the importance of awareness – looking our issues square in the face and examining all the options to determine what’s best for you. Since mental health issues often go hand in hand with substance abuse, it’s even more important to be aware.

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