Being a Gentleman in the 21st Century

Somewhere along the line, things changed drastically. Maybe it happened when they burned their bras? Perhaps it was years later when Beyonce told all her “women that’s independent to throw their hands up at her”, but women have changed.

June Cleaver, Carol Brady, and Betty Drapers of yesteryear and our fantasies are now long gone. So with this evolved breed of 21st century women out there its only right the male species would have to adapt, raising the question, “What does it mean to be a man, or better yet a Gentleman in the 21st century”?

Digital courtship

The idea of chivalry as we know it has shifted. I mean, you don’t “court” the object of affection so much as you “woo”  her through  a series of public and digital interactions. Text messaging, Facebook, Twitter and other social networking platforms now make it possible to get to know someone you’ve only seen in person once or twice.

These mediums of communication are valuable in the process of pursuit. They provide a less formal setting which encourages witty, flirtatious banter, but one must tread lightly when communicating via an electronic format.

A gentleman knows that there is a fine line of context between a conversation in person and one over text. He takes the time to check his punctuation, grammar and spelling to ensure that his thoughts come across as intended. Also, he will avoid the use of emoticons and text talk. i.e. lol, ttyl (you get the point.)

These digital platforms are acceptable for the pursuit, but they are unacceptable for the break up. Unless your entire relationship has taken place online, a gentleman of any day and age ends things in person.

Dating

When out with a woman, the behavior of a gentleman depends on the type of women that he is with. Its always a nice gesture to hold open a door fellas. However, the Uptown Fashionista Career Girl and the Wholesome Mild Mannered Southern Girl trying to make it in the Big City probably have two vastly different opinions when it comes to chivalrous deeds.

Women are now empowered in ways they once weren’t so acceptable behavior has changed, however chances are that no matter how dainty and submissive she may be, she can order her own entree. Its ok to recommend something you think that she’d enjoy or to choose a bottle for the table but leave to her to order her own meal. Be courteous, not chauvinistic.

Internet Etiquette

A gentlemen must find a balance between his public and private persona. Now, a large part of social and professional  correspondence are based in the virtual world so it is easy for one to allow his work and play mix. You should know that certain things are better kept to yourself.

Not every embarrassing/ironic/absurd story/picture/anecdote needs to be uploaded to a platform where your future girlfriends/In-Laws/H.R. Reps will be able to see for years to come.

Present your online personality the same way you would present your actual personality, a digital impression can last a lifetime.

The Gentleman of our day and age has it pretty easy. We live in a time where the acceptable code of behavior is less restrictive than in the past. Many of the traditions that were once the norm have become antiquated . To be considered a true gentleman today, all that is required is a sense decorum and basic judgment skills.

Look at every situation and interpret your actions accordingly and you will know when its time for you to take off that hat , put the BlackBerry on vibrate, and pull out a chair or two, but then again it could be the day that she offers to go Dutch… I doubt things have changed that much